Adolescent Counseling

Could adolescent counseling help your child with life and family issues?

Adolescence can be some of the most tumultuous years of a person’s life. It is a time of constant transformation. Major changes occur.

Teens and pre-teens deal with pressures from society and peers, cruel classmates, mean teachers, and conflicts with parents.

They also often suffer from self-esteem and identity issues, growth and sexual development, and guilt and shame over mistakes and bad decisions. All while worrying about the future and wondering if they will ever find love. Some even believe they have already experienced and lost their one true love.

Adolescent counseling can help your child navigate the difficulties life throws at them in a healthy way.

Adolescents are in a period of transition.

The teen and pre-teen years are a time of transitioning into an individual person and all that entails. Boundaries are pushed. Rules are ignored. Emotions get out of hand. Hormones take over. Anger controls.

Teens want to have the privileges of becoming an adult, but they are not yet ready for the responsibilities. And when parents try to talk to them and ask questions, the result is often a one-word answer. If that.

Parents face challenges with their adolescents.

While many parents can reminisce about their own teen or pre-teen years, most have forgotten how dramatic those years can be.

We tend to remember the good. We focus on the positives. Sure, that special someone may have broken your heart for a time, but in the end, it was for the best.

Teenagers lack the ability to see the future. They see every letdown, each obstacle, and continued setbacks as a personal attack. Their focus is on the here and now. It doesn’t matter that today’s heartbreak will mean next to nothing someday when they find their real true love.

Today, it hurts. Today, it matters. And often, parents unwittingly make things worse.

Sometimes meaningful parents have the opposite effect.

I understand. You want what is best for your child. You would love to make everything better.

But sometimes, all our efforts do the opposite.

Parents try to comfort but often use the wrong words. They lecture when they should listen. They push issues when the child needs space. Or they give too much space when a child wants comfort and to know they are loved.

Difficulties arise with adolescents because they are too old to be treated like a child and too young to be treated like an adult. The truth is, they need to be treated like both.

The problem is knowing when to “baby” them and when to allow them the independence to spread their wings.

The right adolescent counseling therapist can provide solutions.

My name is Dr. Lonnie Bryant, and I have a knack for getting adolescents to talk and open up. I’ve had an uncanny ability to build rapport with teens since I was a teenager myself. When I worked as a youth minister, I gained great insight into the minds, lives, and hearts of adolescents.

And I now have over three decades of helping adolescents navigate the murky waters of change.

My easy rapport with teens and pre-teens allows them to trust me. Rapport must happen first to motivate change. Once the adolescent desires change, trust becomes paramount for them to do the work so change can occur.

You can’t trust your adolescent with just anyone.

Let me tell you Jason’s adolescent counseling story.

Jason arrived at my office with the usual closed-off posture. His body language was obvious. The folded arms, the scowl, the way he looked at me and my office, and his hesitation to enter.

Adolescent Resistance!

He would rather be anywhere else. He was not open to talking. I invited him in and awaited his reply. It finally came. “Where should I sit?” I gestured to the entire office. “You can sit wherever you like.”

His response was typical. After looking around, he headed straight for my chair. I smiled and nodded as I calmly walked over and sat on the couch. As so many other adolescents do, he looked surprised. His expression let me know he couldn’t believe I let him sit in “my chair.”

Comfortably seated in “the chair of power,” Jason gained confidence. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I don’t want to be here. My mother made me come, and it’s a waste of her money. I don’t have anything to talk about and won’t answer your questions.”

I again nodded. I understood. Teenagers like to be in control and don’t appreciate pressure. I said, “No problem. Do you have any questions for me?”

He again looked surprised. After a few moments of thought, he asked me a very personal question. I answered him truthfully. Stunned by my openness, he asked me more questions. After I answered a dozen or so, I saw a change.

He was ready. I asked him a question. And his answer included multiple words.

Progress!

By the end of the session, I gained enough information to know Jason was dealing with self-esteem issues.

Building rapport with Jason paid off.

The next few sessions revealed mostly one-word answers, but occasionally Jason rewarded my patience with paragraphs. I learned his mother was on her third marriage and had control issues.

As our sessions continued, he spoke about problems with stepfathers, including alcoholism and verbal abuse.

He also began to ask questions related to himself and his situation as he sought understanding.

Before long, I noticed he’d begun applying concepts we discussed.

One windy afternoon, his distress was apparent. I felt he needed something different, so I asked him if he wanted to fly a kite. His eyes widened, but he went still. I understood. Teenagers don’t like to admit they don’t know how to do something.

I asked, “Have you ever flown a kite?” He murmured a no. “Well,” I said, “it’s time to experience the joy.”

That day, Jason learned how to fly a kite. And he loved it.

He also learned a little something about trusting me. While his borrowed kite soared, he discussed his broken heart from a failed relationship.

He talked about fears and mistakes and confided his pain over cruel behavior from his peers. And he even admitted some bad behaviors.

He also described details about his family life.

Jason successfully learned some life lessons during adolescent counseling.

Thanks to Jason’s trust and openness, I was able to talk with his mom. This led to her understanding of how her well-meaning but counterproductive actions contributed to his behavior.

She learned to trust more and control less, which vastly improved her relationship with Jason. It also contributed to his making better decisions.

Through our sessions, Jason learned how to deal with life pressures and cruel peers. He came to realize the importance of talking to his mom. He understood his worth and learned how to let go of negative thoughts. He realized the difference between real friends and those who hurt him.

He also began to believe in himself and his intelligence, which led him to apply himself wholeheartedly in school.

Adolescent counseling is an investment in the future.

I recently heard from Jason. He graduated from college and found his true “soul-mate.” They are engaged and looking forward to a future together. He wanted to thank me for being there when he needed someone he could trust. Someone who could help him work through his “stuff.”

Who doesn’t want their child to grow into a happy adult who feels loved and fulfilled? That is what an investment into their future can do for them. 

And that is why I love adolescent counseling so much!

Adolescents matter.

Teens and pre-teens want to be heard rather than talked down to. They want their opinions and ideas to matter. They want to feel important and loved.

I’ve seen it all when it comes to adolescent counseling. Many try to shock me by revealing something terrible they have done. But rather than being shocked, I applaud their honesty.

I give adolescents the attention and confidentiality they desire while guiding them to understand the consequences of choices.

Interested in adolescent counseling for your teen or pre-teen?

When you think of investing in your child’s future, what comes to mind? Higher education is often high on the list, as the rewards can be tremendous. It’s hard to calculate your return on investment when it comes to good education. The same can be said about the assistance your child can receive from a qualified and experienced counselor. 

Call or text my office today at 382-365-2099 to schedule a FREE 15-20 minute phone consultation with me. You can ask me questions, and we will get to know each other a bit so we can see if you think I can help. 

Parents learn, too.

Parents know about parenting based on what they learned from their parents. And they didn’t have to deal with the same challenges of today. Social media, violent video games, sexting, and lack of face-to-face communication. The list goes on.

I understand. The parents are not to blame for what they don’t know.

When working with adolescents, I also help parents. I offer guidance to help them navigate the difficulties today’s teens and pre-teens face. I offer tools and advice to help them become supportive and encouraging.

And I help adolescents to understand their parents are doing the best they know. That even if they don’t do everything right, they care.

With sincere interest, I seek the necessary knowledge to help improve relationships and reduce conflict and arguments while guiding assumption of responsibility and improved decision-making skills. I offer support and comfort while providing a respectful, safe environment, so my clients feel free to experience and explore perceptions and feelings.

With genuine care and empathy, I can guide your adolescent to understand that every experience and situation, no matter how difficult or painful, can offer an opportunity for change, growth, and improvement.

The result is an emotional balance that allows adolescents to remain in control while believing in themselves, even during challenging times.

I will help them discover new ways of communication, problem-solving, and identification of ways to achieve goals.

If your adolescent is struggling, I can help.

Teens and pre-teens who have difficulties dealing with life’s pressures need someone they can trust. They need someone who is safe and nonjudgmental, and won’t get emotional on them.

I can help.

While most adolescents initially resist the idea of counseling, they come to understand and appreciate it. And when life is better, they will thank you.

We can talk about the issues, ask and answer questions, and find out if your adolescent and I have what it takes to work together.

Call (682) 365-2099 today to schedule your FREE 20-minute consultation.