Couples Counseling
Do you believe a happy, fulfilling, and loving marriage is only for fairy tales?
We’ve all heard the stories. “And they lived happily ever after, the end.”
If you are married, you know the story doesn’t end when you say, “I do.”
Nobody is just given “happily ever after” as a wedding present.
With couples counseling, it is possible to achieve a loving, fulfilling, happy marriage.
If your marriage is not what you always dreamed it would be, isn’t it time to change that?
It doesn’t have to be the “impossible dream.”
Couples counseling offers hope, for even the most difficult marriages.
My name is Dr. Lonnie Bryant, and I have helped thousands of couples who believed there was “no cure” for their difficulties find renewed happiness and love in their marriage.
Many of these couples had already started divorce proceedings.
Which category best describes your marriage?
Keep reading to find out.
#1: Compassionate, Climactic Marriage
This couple enjoys a fulfilling, loving marriage. They are committed and love doing life together. Trust and intimacy are high, communication flows well, disagreements are easily worked through, and they consider each other’s feelings and desires.
Do you know any couples like this? They do exist.
And with my help, you too can have a compassionate, climactic marriage.
For couples with children, this is especially important. Your children learn about what marriage is by watching and experiencing your relationship.
What kind of marriage do you want your children to have?
#2: Complacent Marriage
This type of marriage lacks passion and intimacy. The “spark” is gone.
Both are committed to staying together, but mostly because they are comfortable and fear the unknown.
They are friends and get along well, but they are rarely lovers.
Divorce is not an option, as it would bring change and be expensive. And neither of them wants to be alone.
They get along fine and rarely argue – probably because they don’t possess the passion for arguing. They do life together but lack joy or fulfillment in doing so.
If you live life in a complacent marriage, there is hope. While it may seem unlikely, you can find renewed romance.
I’d love to help you rekindle your passion and intimacy. It is possible.
#3: Co-Existing Marriage
A couple that co-exists has usually gone through a difficult season that one or both cannot get over.
Maybe they discussed divorce but decided to stay together for the children. So, they pressed on, but they never did the work to return to a fulfilled, happy marriage.
They usually enjoy each other and experience intimacy, but something is missing or in the way. While they don’t often argue, when they do, it’s always about the “same old thing.”
Maybe she cheated on him, and he “forgave her,” but he doesn’t ever forget. He is suspicious and jealous and reminds her of her infidelity when he is hurt or angry.
Or it could be that he has turned his wife into a “football widow.” Every football season, he is absent from the marriage. He goes to games or a sports bar with his friends, and she is left behind. Or he just sits on the couch in his own little world.
Their marriage works well during the off-season, but for five months of the year, it’s football – Sunday afternoon, Sunday night, Monday night, Thursday night, and all of Saturday. He may even hit the high school games on Friday night.
Sometimes, this can be the easiest fix. Maybe all you need is some conflict resolution skills and communication tools that I can teach you.
I also can help with forgiveness issues and help you find a good balance in your marriage. For instance, the two of you can compromise on how many football games he watches per week. Maybe you can even learn to appreciate watching a few together.
Homework may include date nights that aren’t at a sports bar or football field.
#4: Conflicted Marriage
In a conflicted marriage, there are frequent arguments, disagreements, fights, and nit-picking.
Every little thing can be an irritation. He left the toilet seat up. She left the cap off the toothpaste. He didn’t run the dishwasher. She didn’t make his coffee “just right.”
Many times, neither one can even remember what started the fight because it was insignificant.
Often, there are ongoing issues that the other refuses to see as important. He forgot to talk about his day and ask her about hers. She neglected to meet his needs in the bedroom.
Sometimes these couples can experience passion and intimacy. In fact, some couples experience the most passion after they “kiss and makeup.” But at times, the atmosphere can get ugly in the house; and if there are children in the home, you can bet the fighting is affecting them.
Another possibility in a conflicted marriage is avoiding difficult conversations. They resign themselves and refuse to discuss certain things. The belief that things will never change leads to blame, resentment, and passive/aggressive behavior.
As the avoidance continues, the couple begins to avoid each other by working late, hanging out with friends, staying on social media, or consuming alcohol.
While this couple may not argue, yell, and fight, the damage is just as serious.
Conflicted couples need some tools to improve their marriage. These tools can include problem-solving techniques, communication exercises, conflict-resolution skills, and learning to speak each other’s love language.
Discussing realistic expectations also helps, as does coming to an understanding of what is most important to each other. (Hint, it’s not about the toilet seat or the toothpaste cap.)
#5: Crisis Marriage
This couple is in serious trouble. The smallest thing escalates quickly and turns explosive.
Nasty comments and accusations are made as name-calling occurs. Blame is thrown around, and dirt from years ago is brought up.
Often, they are struggling with something big, like infidelity, finances, or abuse. They may be separated or in the process of divorce. If not, at least one has probably mentioned the “D-word” several times.
They are giving in to the “throwaway society” and eying the greener grass on the other side.
Anger and resentment seem to be the go-to emotions, and these leave painful scars on a regular basis. This destructive pattern becomes entrenched. Being horrible to each other becomes the norm.
There may be apologies, an exchange of “I love you,” and maybe even flowers – but nothing really changes. Or, if it does, the change doesn’t last long.
Often, when these couples finally agree to couples counseling, they only do so with little hope, so they can say they tried everything. Or, they agree to counseling because they think their spouse needs help.
Even this couple, however, can return to a thriving, fulfilling marriage.
It will take time, hard work, commitment, and the right counselor; but the results will be well worth every minute invested.
I know, because I have seen it happen hundreds of times.
No matter which type of marriage you have, hope is possible with the right couples counseling therapist.
Why do so many people have negative things to say when it comes to marriage? Terms like “the old ball and chain” or telling a groom at his bachelor party “It’s all downhill from here” are commonplace.
Does no one believe in happily married people anymore? Is being in a fulfilling marriage really the “impossible dream”?
It doesn’t have to be. Your marriage can be all you dream it to be.
If you are not currently enjoying a compassionate, climactic marriage, there are solutions to get you there.
Be careful where you look for those solutions.
Sometimes hurting spouses vent to the wrong people and get bad advice.
She may talk to her friend, who is also in a bad marriage and contemplating divorce, or to her sister, who will never let the husband live down what he did or said.
He may discuss his lack of intimacy with his single friend. Or even worse – a female co-worker.
Seeking couples counseling from an experienced therapist provides a better solution.
You need to find a couples counselor who has the training and experience to help. Someone who has helped save hundreds and hundreds of marriages.
You need someone who cares and with whom you are comfortable.
You need someone who can assist you with getting a handle on powerful emotions and is always ready with a box of tissues. Because crying is not only allowed, it is encouraged.
No matter what your issues are – finances, communication, trust, infidelity, parenting, grief, sex, intimacy, avoidance, control – I can teach you practical, invaluable tools and skills to get you back on the right track.
With my help and guidance, we can work through your issues together.
Don’t put off saving your marriage!
One statistic says the average couple waits six years too long to start couples counseling.
Don’t be one of those statistics. The sooner you start, the easier it will be.
Invest in your marriage. It’s worth it!
Call me at (682) 365-2099 today to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation to get started on the path to a loving, fulfilling marriage.